I hadn't read Dailydave for a while but a reference to this craiglist entry has convinced me that I should read it more often...
I'm basically extremely lazy and I scope projects that take 4 hours of real work time for about 1-2 weeks since thats how long it takes to bring myself to work on whatever stupid project I'm assigned. I've been mudding against recently, I have to get the good eq. drops.
I work marginally well on teams. I dont have a problem with authority, I just dont view them as being authoritative. I am late to work constantly, but not _THAT_ late. I need at least $105k a year. I consistently order the most expensive drinks I possibly can get away with when the company card is down. I will even order drinks to then just pour out into the toilet or onto the carpet just to make the company tab higher.
I can program a variety of languages including but not limited to C, C++, a number of assembly languages, PERL, BASH, TCL and SPIN.
I cannot currently program ERLANG, SCHEME, PYTHON or RUBY but if required (which is highly likely if you think your company is a cool, hip and intelligent one), I can learn any of these languages in 2 days with fluent programmign ability with 2 weeks, as any real programmer can do with any language.
I'm an excellent programmer but many aspies (people with aspergers) can out-program me.
[snip boring stuff]
I have 10+ years in professional (PAID) computer security experience but the security industry is completely retarded now. So I don't want to secure your web apps, _AT ALL_.